Hi all!

I'm not really sure where to start with today's post- I've been writing this post in my head for a few days.

I arrived in Sen Monorom a week ago, and it's been a very emotional week. We stayed in a guest house (hotels in Cambodia are mostly called guest houses), for the first two nights. 

On Sunday afternoon, we met our host families and saw our host homes for the first time. I have never felt more uncomfortable with my surroundings. I have been placed in a traditional host home, a raised house with pigs in the garden and a bathroom with a squat toilet at one end of the property. In Cambodia, they are comfortable living in the dirt and with the bugs- I am not. The learning curve for how to shower, what you eat at dinner, to how to use the toilet properly (without a hose) has been very steep. We have been fully immersed and forced to quickly adapt to the cultural norms. 

My host family is lovely. Both the parents are farmers with the father seeking additional work as a security guard. They have four children, and the three eldest are married. They have been very accommodating to me- even giving me a sarong (a cultural item of clothing- worn around the house,and to shower, by men and women)! Unfortunately they don't speak any English, which means that all conversations or questions have to be communicated through my counterpart, who doesn't have the highest comprehension of English. Last night I spent two hours teaching them some English, and it was great to use my brain in a different way (than the past 2 weeks).

In terms of my program, we haven't started our work yet. This is mostly due to the fact that we have to set everything up from the ground, as no ICS vols have ever been to Mondulkiri. It is also because there is just so much to cover, and learn before we can start. Personally this has been too long for me. I was very keen to work in education, but the delayed start has also helped me settle in. There has been a lot of sitting around, getting spoken to, with not very many breaks. I left uni for a summer break, only to feel like I am back in primary school, with the way we are spoken to and treated.

Emotionally, I have felt very down. Like very down. My iPhone got waterlogged on Monday, and I am feeling very disconnected from my loved ones. With no internet at my host home, or at the office, the only internet I can get is in a cafe with my laptop. The culture shock and huge discrepancies in personal boundaries, I have really been struggling to keep myself happy and motivated. I know this is not what people back home want to hear, but I've been suffering with these thoughts for a while now. Logically I know it should get better, but at the moment it's pretty hard for me.

I love you all, and thank you for the continued support from my family and friends everywhere.

xx